Wednesday, October 14th, 8:26 am
“The weight of the things
that remained unspoken
built up so much
it crushed us every day…”
It broke my heart to see you cry. It did, it does and it will do every single time. It broke it in approximately one million little pieces.
I wish I could do more for you, and it actually makes me sad/mad/crazy and it gives me headaches and heartburns ‘cause I can’t.
I know I don’t say it enough — and I’m sorry, again, for that — , but I love you. I really, truly, deeply do.
Even though shit is basically the same with you so far away (there’s no reason to lie), I miss your presence. Some nasty feelings grow without you, and so does solitude, but the thoughts of you and of the life we have lived together make me smile. I’m really proud of you; we all are. You’ve got it in you — believe that.
It’s hard to pretend I’m strong — ‘cause I’m not. But I’ll do it for you, over and over again, until things are all right.
I miss you, and I love you dearly.
I’m more restless than the usual these past few days (and nights!), as you probably are as well, but I’m sure things will work out somehow; just trust time.
Take care, dear.