As it is already becoming a tradition, I decided to break the “abstinence” and post this. I don’t feel like writing lately, because I honestly feel like I have nothing good to write/say.
It is from June 19th, 2014, and it arrived this morning, when I definitely wasn’t expecting. After a few weird weeks and some unexpected tears, here it goes.
As repetitive as it may be, things have changed a lot. But I guess I should just keep posting this kind of stuff; hopefully one day it will be a reminder of how far I have come.
* * *
Dear Future Me,
from the last letter up to now, things have changed. A LOT.
I have finally graduated, but, at the end, I felt even more empty. So I decided to start going to therapy, to see if it would help me to find my way.
The results have been different from the expected, but I’m more than satisfied with this decision.
Apparently now I have found a new possible alternative route. And I’m gonna go for it.
Few days before I had started going out with a person, and we have had a wonderful-confusing-incredible-messed-up-fantastic-fucked-up-heart-breaking (and many other adjectives) relationship, until January. He build me up–but he also broke me apart.
But I still miss him. A LOT.
This relationship made me see and start facing many situations, specially the personal ones. Things have improved (slightly) with my parents and I guess now I understand myself better. I still disappoint myself, but, at least, now I’m not neglecting myself that much.
I’m evolving (and, stupidly, I wish he could be around to see that… =/).
Coincidently, hours before receiving the letter I met a new guy. He looks so good, is more than cute, charming, and I’m dying to get to know him better. But I’m more than scared… I don’t know what’s gonna happen. I hope to have some happy moments… I think I “deserve” a few.
Right now we’re having the fucking World Cup here. Oh boy… let’s see what’s gonna happen in the elections.
Well, I’ll keep trying. That’s all there is to be done, I guess.
I hope to get somewhere.