Dear mr. Sagan


“Extinction is the rule; survival is the exception”.

You couldn’t have been more accurate, mr. Sagan. That’s precisely why you’re the man.

So far I’m here. Does that make me a “fighter”? Does that mean I’m strong?

‘Cause I feel weak, mr. Sagan. I feel worthless, useless and small. I don’t feel worthy of the air I breathe nor of the food I eat nor of the water I drink. Not even of the little attention and affection I get.

You have poetically, yet scientifically, more than once, showed us how vast is the universe. Still, I feel lost and misplaced, like I don’t belong.

You have told us we are tiny, and nothing but stardust–an incredible and significant combination of stardust, though. Yet, I feel like an obstacle, such a big heavy stone, on my own way and on the way of others.

I would like to have a word with you, mr. Sagan. Something tells me you would understand.

I promise I would try to be brief, and I would carefully choose my words, so I wouldn’t waste your time. Because I, more than frequently, feel as if I’m wasting my own.

I don’t know why I have survived. This remains as a big mystery to me. But I guess it makes sense, though, haha, since I’m always breaking the rules. However, I’d like to follow them, at least this time.

I’m tired of “surviving”–especially if I can’t actually live. So why holding on?

I think it’s time to let go.


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